ahhhhh :)

Haven't posted in a while. i just got done working out for an hour & a half. i feel so great, i love the feeling i get. i'm going to get a gym member ship next week so that i can work out ALL the time :) i want to look good by the time graduation rolls around but we will see, just gotta work towards my goals. I've been trying to take some time to myself, and do things for myself also. I'm working on my relationship with my boyfriend & my family. & doing whats best for me. i need to work on my senior year since i haven't really enjoyed it like i wanted too, which really sucks because i don't want to regret it. But i'm getting off so i can shower, clean my room, & make dinner for my family :)

love always,

Lindsaaaaaaayy

:)

So, ever since Tuesday I've been in a good mood, well a great mood. Danny & i got in a huge fight, maybe one of our biggest fights. & honestly i thought that my relationship was going to be over. i was so miserable the whole entire night when he said he was leaving for a couple days, i was so sad and upset. I was trying so hard, not to talk to him to to text him because he told me not too. I was thankful to have a great friend to talk to that night, because she knows how i am and always gives the best advice. Danny came home on Tuesday, when i thought he would be gone for a few days. i was so happy to know that he was coming home, i was just scared about what he had to say. We talked about things & everything is better. he missed and he said it took everything he had not to talk to me & that he missed me too. but i was so happy everything worked out, i love my boyfriend with everything i have :) he is the best and i never want us to fight again. i learned i need keep my comments to myself.

i love my amazing boyfriend :)

Words can't describe how i feel

"Love is when you find someone you can really be yourself with. That you can share anything with, like a best friend. It's when you can't even imagine what your life would be like without that other person. When words don't even come close to how you really feel and even though it doesn't make sense to other people, you know you're meant to be together."

Dear Danny,

I love you more than anything in this world. You make my life so amazing and interesting, words can't even describe how i feel. When we first started dating i KNEW that we would last forever, i don't want anyone else. You have blown me away, because i never knew that guys like you existed. I want our relationship to work, because i can see you in my future. We are both smart people and we have a lot of stuff going for us in life. despite our differences i know that things can work, we just have to work at it. I know we have been fighting, but i can admit i was wrong. I said some wrong things, which if i wouldn't of said we wouldn't be in that situation. i hope that we can resolve this, it's hard not being able to talk to you when i want to or even seeing you. it's hard, i don't even know how to feel. all i know is that you have only been gone 2 hours and i miss you like hell. & i hope i don't have to wait forever because forever is a long time. But i really can't wait to be back in your arms again, because being alone with out you hurts. i have nobody to talk to, nobody to kiss me, laugh with me, pick on or annoy me. i just hope that things work out, actually i know they will :) because i love you & i know you love me!

I love you with everything i have baby,

Love you ALWAYS-Linds

Happy Late Valentines day

I had a great valentines day, my boyfriend got me this adorable teddy bear from build a bear (this is like my 5th bear since i was like 10). It's precious, & then we went to lunch before i had to go to work. BUT i much rather would've wanted to go out with him, and spend the day together. Work was different tonight, i played bartender & i waitressed a little bit. Ha, i have NEVER done either. I felt bad though cause the other 2 hostess i was going to work with don't really like each other, & i'm friends with both of them. I felt bad for both of them, when my boss needed me to go to the bar. but it was really fun. Tomorrow is my first day back in like 10 days? who knows i've lost count. but i also have orientation at my new job KOHLS tomorrow :) im nervous. But i think im going to go back to bed.

Love,
Linds

P.S. i really really really really love my boyfriend :)

ugh

SO today has started of not so much how i wanted it to. Daniel & i are kinda not talking. basically i'm fighting with myself, but it hurts when i don't feel appreciated. I work SO hard to make him happy & i thank him for everything he does for me. It makes me sick when i see how other couples are SO cute, because thats how me & Danny use to be...we were so adorable that it seriously made people jealous, & honestly i liked it that way. I just want to feel like that again, when everything was perfect no fighting. WE NEVER use to fight...we were dating at least 5 months before we had our first fight. Thats pretty damn good if you ask me. But im just tired of feeling these ways:
1) like he doesn't appreciate me
2) Not as sweet as he use to be
3) Doesn't care about anything
4) Doesn't talk to me
5) Being mean

He never ever ever use to be like this, so it bothers me. & i try telling him how i feel and its like talking to a wall, all he says is sorry everytime. But sorry doesn't make things better, you actually have to make a change. all i want is:
1) for him to show me he cares
2) tell me he loves me without me saying it first
3) give me a kiss without me asking for one
4) WANT to spend time with me
5) APPRECIATE ME

"Appreciation makes people feel more important than almost anything else you can give them."

We will see how this plays out, but for now im keeping my distance so maybe he can understand he is really hurting me.

On a better not i found the dress for prom that i want for $94, when i think origanally it's like $200-$300. So i'm pretty happy, i just hope that tomorrow is a good Valentines day, cause i really could use some cheering up right about now :(

Done venting for now,
Linds

Sleepy Girl

Tonight was my first night back to work, and for some reason i am so tired. i need to suck it up because i work everyday this weekend. I came home from work tonight & my boyfriend is really upset & it's bothering me. i wish i could make him feel better :( i'm cutting it short again for the 2nd night, im so tired.

Sweet dreams,
Linds

SO tired

Ahh, i could literally sleep for days! We went up the road to ride yesterday, it was SO freaking cold. I was actually warm except for my face, i looked completely ridiculous though. It was a lot of fun :) We ended up staying up there and came home this morning, i didn't sleep good, prob because i wasn't in my bed :( & maybe that is why i am so tired. It's a short post, i really think i'm going to hit the sheets.

Good Night & Sweet Dreams

<3>

Real quick before bed

I have been home alone all night, just thinking about everything thats been bothering me. My boyfriend, went to his friends house right after being home from work for not even an hour & i was sad because i wasn't invited, never really am unless i ask to go. it hurts my feelings because i want to feel included, i mean i don't really hang out with anyone or have many friends to go do things with. when he came home he didn't even say hey or give me a kiss..and it took him almost 30 min before i had to go in there and ask if he was going to say hey to me. he always says "i was just getting ready too", but im not stupid :(. i just feel unappreciated and like things just wont go my way. even if i try so hard for us to not fight or to make a effort to brighten his day. I'm dreading valentines day because i got him this really amazing gift & i am honestly scared he's not going to get me anything, which might hurt my feelings. I don't ask much from him, just simple sweet things but i don't even get that :( i guess i feel like i'm not good enough or that he doesn't want to be around me. He says he loves me so that has to mean something, & i believe him when he says it. He's not a horrible boyfriend & i love him with everything i have but i just feel like ever since we started living together our relationship is this crazy roller coaster & it's a little hard for me to handle, it stressses me out! Maybe i am just over thinking like normal, but i hope things get better in the morning, we will seee.

Good night & sweet dreams,

Linds<3

Good Morning :)

For some reason i'm waking up entirely to early, maybe because when i do go to school i always get up early, even though i haven't been since last thursday. More snow today :) ha normally i hate it but for some reason i'm really starting to like it. i think it's because i have fun riding with my boyfriend when there is tons of snow on the ground! it's so fun.

Good news, i got a job at Kohl's today :)! i have been waiting and praying i get this job for awhile now. I really wanted to work at a new place other than food! it's just not my think coming home and smelling god awful after work. I have job orientation next Tuesday so that is pretty exciting !

Bad news, i think i've pissed my best friend off. i don't really need to get in detail but long story short i haven't been a person who gets along with her boyfriend. He doesn't like me and i don't like him. i've honestly tried giving him chances as a friend but i give up. well we are going on this trip and i think he might be invited but i don't want to be staying in the same place as him. i don't want to stay with someone who can potentially ruin my trip! it's not fair to me or anyone else. So last night i told her that i don't want to stay with everyone if he is invited, either i'll stay with somebody else or i won't go at all. So i'm not really sure what i should do, but i feel like a total bitch. Maybe things will look up for this situation.

Everything else is going good, just being lazy again :) so long for now.

Love, Linds

I am new to this so bare with me..

My name is Lindsay, most people just call me Linds though. I'm starting a blog because i really have a a lot to say, & granted i do have friends, family and a boyfriend i can say it too, i just always feel like they are to busy or im bothering them. & typing it or writing it seems to be a lot easier than actually saying it to someone. i love life and i love expressing my feelings. Here i comes the fun part, actually talking about the juicy stuff :)

Well lately i have been called some pretty nasty names by some people who are clearly insecure about themselves. i don't understand why you have to put people down to make yourself feel better, it's just so funny to me. People think it really bothers me, but i just laugh at these ignorant people. & it's so funny the names they come up with. It's funny people call you names that have no meaning in reference to you (if that sounds right haha) Ex: calling a girl a whore if she is still a virgin, when really you are the one sleeping with the world. People are so rude these days. but i really don't let it bother me because i'm not the one going around saying things to make me look stupid..

Also how rude some guys are to their girl friends or girls in general. Calling your girl friend stupid, & saying you don't know if you love her and have to question your relationship is sad. It makes me sick how a guy can treat a girl he "LOVES" like crap, it doesn't make since at all. & obviously he doesn't love his girl friend if he has to question their relationship & breaks up with her every few days or weeks. I also hate how they will break up with their girl so they can hook up with another girl & not consider it cheating and then get back with her! NO girl should put up with that. Thats so unhealthy for you to live your life like that. also making your girlfriend choose between you, her friends & family is rude. any girl should not be put through the horrible thought of this.

Thank goodness i have a boyfriend who loves me for who i am. I know i'm not the perfect girl in the world, but i would do anything for Daniel even if that means putting him before myself. He love's me for my flaws, & my beauty that i some times don't see. he put's the biggest smile on my face even if he doesn't know it. I love spending time with him :) and as cheesy as it sounds i really couldn't imagine my life without him, he's the greatest.

We've had 3 intense snow storms these last couple months. it's been pretty crazy & we are going on our 4th one tomorrow night. Our school has used all 5 of our snow days as of today, & school tomorrow has been cancelled also. because our school hasn't been plowed & neither has the neighborhoods around us . I think the plowing budget wasn't big enough this year so they are giving up, thank goodness for a boyfriend who has 4-wheel drive ;). I'm just happy seniors don't have to makes up these snow days!

Thats about it for now<3

love, linds